Many couples undertake marriage with a certain degree of naiveté. They anticipate a magnificent life together of wedded bliss, only to discover that marriage is complicated. As a less-than-fairy-tale experience unfolds, some couples realize that they really are not meant to be together, and seek a way out of an unsatisfying relationship. If this sounds familiar, a local divorce attorney may be worth visiting.
Preventing a Mismatch
Therapists suggest that many couples could avoid disappointment by endeavoring to have important conversations before making a marriage commitment. It would help couples to enter matrimony with more realistic expectations, and without the hopes that one partner will be able to reshape the other into compliance. What are topics of high importance? Anyone who’s already married will not be surprised by the list:
- Strategies to Handle Disagreements: How do you, as a couple, deal with conflict? If disagreements before the wedding are exhaustive and emotional, don’t expect things to change after you tie the knot. If your partner engages in name-calling, blaming, leaving you feeling beaten down, it should be a real red flag. On the other hand, those who avoid disagreements at all costs tend to allow issues to fester and poison the relationship. Or what if your partner is simply unable to accept constructive criticisms, and resorts to pouting, or, worse, listing all of your shortcomings dating back from the beginning of time? Finally, if you have a partner who resorts to physical violence when frustrated, disappointed, or angry, things will not improve after the wedding. Developing healthy strategies to address conflict before marriage—such as listening, speaking in a calm tone, and working together as a team to resolve issues—can help you to tackle future problems together.
- Money: Finances are one of the most commonly fraught issues in a marriage. It would behoove couples to have clear expectations about earnings, responsibilities, and spending practices. Being on the same page about saving for big-ticket items, as well as regarding weekly expenditures, can be crucial.
- Intimacy: Do you and your partner share similar feelings about sex and intimacy? Problems in the bedroom can lead to all kinds of issues between couples, so discussions about libido and compatibility are essential to a healthy relationship.
- Extended Family: Those jokes about mothers-in-law are not very funny when the issues are in your own family. Discussing the frequency and depth of interaction with extended family before you tie the knot can alleviate hurt feelings later. Besides the day-to-day interactions, discussions about holidays and other key events need to be had.
If Things Just Aren’t Working
If, despite your best efforts, your marriage simply is not making you happy and you’ve decided on a split, having the Jackson divorce attorneys at the law office of Derek L. Hall, PC can help. Schedule a free, confidential consultation in our office today.
