Every relationship goes through periods of disengagement. What some refer to as a slump might just be a temporary phase as one or the other partner becomes distracted with issues at work or elsewhere. But when is it time to take a closer look at the relationship and consider divorce?
What Research Tells us About Divorce
One study examining the most frequent causes of divorce by Marriage.com found a variety of problems, often occurring in tandem, leading couples to split:
- Feelings of frustration and resentment held by one partner;
- Conflicting expectations regarding bedroom activities;
- An unrequited need for emotional intimacy;
- Differences in financial planning;
- The inability to solve problems together constructively;
- An increase in one partner’s weight;
- One partner feeling disenfranchised in the relationship;
- Mental or physical abuse;
- A failure to share common interests and goals.
When the US National Institutes of Health studied divorced couples, they found three central problems that contributed to couples’ decision to consider getting a divorce:
- Couples had frequent arguments and conflict;
- One partner displayed a significant lack of commitment to the relationship;
- Unresolved infidelity issues.
- Unresolved infidelity issues.
While each of these issues can be navigated by many couples, ultimately, researchers found what they referred to as the final straw that compelled couples to give up on the marriage:
- Conflict that became emotionally or physically abusive;
- Substance abuse and addiction;
- Unresolved infidelity issues.
Are You Compatible at this Point?
As you consider the current state of your marriage, one big question that needs to be addressed is the degree to which you are compatible with one another. Perhaps you married when you were quite young, and find that you are now very different from one another. The Institute for Divorce Analysts notes that compatibility issues that plague couples relentlessly are at the root of divorce. Certainly, this supports the conclusions by the NIH and Marriage.com, whose lists are blatant displays of the incompatibilities couples wrestle with prior to seeking divorce in many instances. It could be said that many individuals lose their own identity over the course of a marriage as they become absorbed in the demands of family life. Still others find themselves consumed by the rat race, forgoing their passions in order to earn a living. Oftentimes, couples marry for reasons related to family pressure, pregnancy, or convenience, without really understanding the commitment necessary for success. These issues and others can all lead to the discovery that couples simply are not compatible, and each individual would flourish independently. If you recognize your situation in this description, it may be time to schedule a confidential meeting with the Jackson divorce attorneys at the office of Derek L. Hall, PC. We handle divorces of varying complexity every day, and will help you achieve your goals in yours. Contact our Jackson office today for a free consultation.
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